The Champagne Heartburn Must End ... Eventually

I'm not sure how many bottles of champagne we slugged the day we got engaged. There is a "celebratory" gene that runs in the Gogolewski bloodline. We were in Lake Tahoe, staying with Mark and Liz (Gogolewski - for those of you that don't know), and we really just went for it. For a time there, under those twinkling Tahoe stars, sitting in that bubbly hot tub, drinking those bubbly cocktails and talking about bubbly things like weddings, family and love, we forgot that we were, well, not nineteen. We celebrated the night away without fear of the morning to come.

And so the celebration began.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

You see, when you get engaged, everyone that you know wants to celebrate. Even people you don't know want to celebrate. Don't get me wrong, this is great. We are a couple that likes to celebrate. But eventually, your body starts to get annoyed with your complete lack of regard for its frailty. About two weeks into our engagement I felt like I'd swallowed a cactus. I was choking down Dom Perignon's sweetest nectars like they were firewater. My esophagus could've doubled as a medical study on road rash. But, when you're a couple that likes to celebrate, it just doesn't make sense to let a little setback like champagne heartburn get in your way. And, for quite some time, it didn't.

Continue (ouch). Continue (ouch). Continue (ouch).

The following conversation never actually happened in our house. Eventually though, it might have:

Andrew: Ugh, more champagne, my liver's gonna resign.

Michelle, still in her twenties, just looks at me. Confused. I continue to moan -

Andrew: The bubbles are like a million little ninja-daggers stabbing my throat.

Michelle: We should throw a party.

Andrew: A pa... are you even listening to...

Michelle: An engagement party. And invite everyone. A party to end all parties.

I pause, letting the genius of this statement fully sink in. Then -

Andrew: Done. Where?




Equator Books is the kind of place Dan Brown might find himself after a self loathing-induced bender in search of his literary soul. He'd enter all drunk and repentant, slurring something about salvation and thinking he'd finally found it. The ghost of Charles Bukowski would stumble over with a twinkle in his eye and a smile all friendly like ... and kick Dan's teeth in, throw him to the curb then pour himself another drink.

Needless to say, I like the place. And they like my future wife ... and me. Not quite as much, but they like me too. You see, Michelle is cooler than I am, and at an establishment who sometimes uses the motto, "We're cool so you you don't have to be," that apparently counts for something. Actually, in this case, it counts for a lot. Living by the aforementioned motto, they will be closing their doors to the public and opening it to us on the night of May 29th for the engagement party to end all parties. Very cool.

Smash your Kindles, people. Buy at Equator.

They also scored us a bartender, a doorman and a crew to clean up after the mayhem ensues. Very, very cool.

And I'm serious. Smash those Kindles. Buy at Equator.

And then they said, "The place is yours. Don't ask, just do what ever you want."

So we got a band...

Tom With The Weather signed on to play our party - in classic friend, ahem, Rock Star form - for a handle of bourbon and all the beer they can drink. Seriously. I know they are bringing at least one groupie, but really, I just hope they come dressed like the dudes (?) in the picture above.

It appears that the moral of this story is: we are grateful to have awesome and generous friends. If our wedding is as easy to put together as this engagement party, this blog is really going to suck. Bridezilla can only handle so many rematches with Michelle.

So, to wrap things up, and to try and deliver just a little bit on the "trial and error guide to amateur wedding planning" part of this blog, I will say this:

If you get engaged, and you really like to celebrate, then stretch out the time between said engagement and your engagement party. It gives you plenty of time to celebrate individually with all of your friends. A lot. And then it brings them all together in a kind of engagement celebration finale.*

If you aren't such a celebrator - throw a party quick. Your friends will want to toast your big news. Hold a bash right off the bat and you can knock it all out in one fell swoop.
Note: This is only conjecture. Michelle and I milked this baby for two months.

Next week's Teaser:

We have made a decision about something! Finally! And yes, it has something to do with our wedding.

*My heartburn-withered body wanted me to highlight the word finale. I said no. I had to. I'm a realist, and already have my doubts about how final this finale will be.